Lesson 12: Mars vs Venus

This lesson is actually not for men. Its for women. And its about issues that are irreconcilable.
The gender divide. The battle of the sexes. The disconnect between what men give and want women want.
I shall try my best:
1) "Feelings"
This is SUCH a sterotypical argument.
Girl: Why don't you ever talk about how you feel?
Guy: Do we have to do this right now? This is my favorite Simpson's episode.
Girl: We don't ever talk.
Guy: *sighs and turns off tv* What do you want to talk about?
Girl: How you feel...
Guy: How I feel about what?
Girl: US!! How you feel about us!!!
Guy: Fine...why? Everything's fine. Why do you do this? Can I turn the tv back on?
Girl: *rolls over*
2) Types of emotion
ex 1//
Bad day at work
Girl=crying. Needing to engage in meaningless banter.
Guy=beer. Video games. Television.
The problem arises when girl AND guy have a bad day at work.
One wants to talk. Other wants to escape reality.
This my friends, is inevitable B.T.

ex 2//
Girl: *clearly excited*I've re-arranged my schedule so we can spend time together this evening!
Guy: *flat*Oh. Ok. Well, come over then.
Girl: Is this okay? You don't sound very excited.
Guy: Fine, its fine okay?
Girl: *clearly deflated* Well, ok I guess I'll come over then.
Guy: Why are you mad?
Girl: *flat* I'm not mad.
Guy: Why aren't you excited anymore?
Girl: You're not excited.
Guy: Yes I am
Girl: No you're not.
Guy: Yes I am.
Girl: You weren't. You don't sound excited.
Guy: *angry tone* I'm excited okay?
Girl: Listen to the tone of your voice...you're mad.
Guy: *obvious change in tone:lighter* I'm not mad.

Conversation then drags on until
a) Guy realizes his mistake, changes the tone of his voice, and backpeddles
b) Girl decides to instead stay home and watch ANTM.

These are unexplainable.
I refuse to buy the argument that females are naturally emotional, passionate, irrational. Or that males are necessarily rational, unemotional, and insensitive. Second wave feminism is bullshit.
So SOMEONE needs to explain how these things happen. Where is the disconnect?
Why....WHY....
Why can't these things be reconciled?
Does it take years of training?
Do you eventually become immune to this type of "blockheadeness"?
Do you eventually turn into Lois and Peter? Lois, the nag and Peter the idiot-a grown man with the mentality of a four year old?


Or do you simply get together with your girlfriends with a bottle of wine and an array of Fantasia toys every now and again to remind you that you are not the only one who faces these phenomenon daily....?

Alas, the teacher still has lessons to learn...